


A Loki of my own

by littlemissdeath



Category: Thor (Movies), Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: ABDL, Arguments, BDSM, Cheating, Cosplay, Courtship, Dating, Dirty Talk, F/M, Fighting, Fingering, Frottage, Jealousy, M/F, Makeup Sex, Masturbation, Nude sunbaking, Piss Play, Pregnancy, Romance, Sex Toys, Tom is not allways good, Trust Issues, Unhappy Ending, Unwelcome Advances, Watersports, child birth, good times and bad, roleplaying, sickness and health, wanking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-13 23:15:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7989799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissdeath/pseuds/littlemissdeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ups and downs of a whirlwind romance, marriage and children with Tom/Loki, not everything you wish for comes true and the things that do, may not be a happy ending.</p><p>How Tara [Reader] met Tom and the relationship that followed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was 20 kms from the closest town, a further 80 kms to the city capital. A country home that Tom had settled into. It was a home away from civilisation, in the border ranges of Queensland and New South Wales. The house was almost perched on a hill and surrounded by rolling hills and bushland. It was a small farm, about 300 acres, there were no neighbours for at least a kilometre or two. The green rolling hills provided him endless opportunities to run and sunbake… nude. It was one thing he loved about staying here. Majority of the year it was hot and sunny, unlike London.

Tom sat on the large couch at one end. He was waiting for the space next to him to be filled by the hesitant woman off in the kitchen, who was making him a cup of tea. He was dressed causal for him but some would say he only needed a tie to be classed as dressed up.

He smiled as she approached but she didn’t sit beside him she merely put down the tray and he accepted her reluctance to join him. He proceeded to take up his tea and sip it as he directed his gaze to the interviewer and camera set up before him.

He sighed in pleasure of the warm tea and set it down. "So where shall I start? I guess it’s rather simple and can be put in three main points."

Tom was eloquent as ever. He looked once more to the woman trying to hide out of shot. She was nervous but happy for him. He smiled and mouthed ‘it will be alright’ to her. she nodded.

"I guess it was best described to me," he then gave her an acknowledging nod, "that when I was film Thor 2, I was Tom Hiddleston, English bachelor." He smiled his cheeky smile and then began to let out his secret. "But now, none of those things are true."

Leah Salison, the confident lady who was interviewing him was intrigued. She was mostly used to interviewing political types and was very good at getting the hard answers. "So what is not correct about that statement?" she asked taking notes. It was a one on one interview that was exclusive for One Plus One. She knew it was going to be big, but she was not motivated by ratings or money.

"Well I guess I will start with the easiest one, the last point." He held up his hand and pushed the ring on his finger. "I am no longer a bachelor." He smiled and the woman off to the side smiled back. For she was his wife. "We actually married a while ago, but were both happy with it not being a public marriage."

He sat back and became more comfortable with the idea of telling his story, their story. The interviewer prepared and then asked. "That’s a pretty big bomb shell. How have your fans reacted?"

"Well, I figure, apart from a few slips by my in my endless posts, no one knew about it, out side of our families, oh and my best man, Chris Hemsworth!" He chuckled at the name of his sort of brother. "This will be pretty much the first official conformation we have made."

"Do you think it will diminish your fan base? After all you are most desired because you are single."

"No. If they are my true fans, they will watch me act and support me just the same."

Leah looked over at the shy woman with long brown hair. This woman who somehow managed to do what all the other fangirls wanted to do. She was unremarkable, average height, and build. Tom pointed up to the large family portrait over the fireplace.

"Well my family is more than just my loving wife." Leah looked at the photo, it was them on this same couch, but with both of their parents and a number of small children, who were not paying attention to the photographer. "But we will talk about them a bit later."

"Married life what you thought?"

"Yes and no. There have been difficulties, I’m sure everyone has them. I mean the thing about marriage is that you communicate and realise that you can’t change someone. This is the person you chose and there will be things they do that piss you off, but ultimately there are more things that make you smile." Tom looked up at the picture of his family on the wall. "Did I think I would be here a few years ago? No. But I love that I am. I got to experience so many things. I think my children were the best thing ever."

Tom looked up to see one of his children hiding behind his wife. Peering out from behind her dress and then burying his face, unsure of the camera crew.

"I can’t talk about the good times without acknowledging the bad" Tom pondered and thought about if he should talk about that in detail or not.

 

_______--

 

A few years earlier. The not so good times.

In the kitchen of that same home. The air was buzzing and on edge as the fight continued...

"I can’t believe you!" Tom yelled. "You are _my_ wife. _I_ should be able to have unsafe sex with you if I want!"

"I’m not disputing you! You are not listening to what I am saying! Besides, it is unprotected sex, not unsafe sex." She chose her words carefully.

"So tell me the bloody hell what you want!" Tom swung his hands up then stared into her eyes.

"I don’t want you to get the snip. I want you to wear a condom."

"Why!? If you don’t want to get pregnant, go on the pill! For fuck’s sake!" Tom turned and walked a few paces away then turned and put his hands on his hips.

"I’m still breast feeding." She cupped her breasts then pulled her shirt out. "I don’t want our children to be affected by anything they don’t need to." Tom went silent and went to open his mouth. He shook his head then walked in passively to hug her.

"I’m sorry. But I still don’t get why you are against me getting the snip?"

"I don’t want you to do unnecessary surgery to your body..." she paused and exhaled. Then broke off the hug.

"What more are you hiding?" he said calmly but measured. "I want to know what the real reason is." Tom moved close to her not letting her escape.

"Because!" she yelled and tears began to form. "Because it would give you an out to cheat and not fear that you would get some slut fan girl pregnant!" she shoved him aside and then walked down the hall to the bedroom. She knew he would try to be calm in the presence of their children.

But not this time. "Oh _now_ the truth comes out!" he was upset now. "All this time you have been holding that over me! You said you have forgiven me for it and now the truth comes out!" His eyes darted back and forth and his skin glistened with building rage. The vein under his forehead was now prominent.

"Keep your voice down." She held her hands up.

"No!" Tom grabbed her wrist. "You deliberately came in here to stop the fight, but you are not in control here." He pulled her back down to the kitchen.

"And what do you expect me to think? The man I took vows with breaks them within a few months of being married!"

"Oh god! You’re always on my back!" Tom turned away to yell but then stormed back to be in her face.

She moved up to him and yelled in his face. "You kept it from me! Then you felt guilty and told me! I’m surprised I never caught anything from your floozies!"

"You don’t even care about this marriage! You just want to hold that over me and make me your slave!" Tom wasn’t going to lose this fight. "If you hate me so much you should just divorce me!" Silence. They both stared at each other. Then she softly broke the silence.

"I did give you many outs. But you said you wanted me above all others. I would never have had our babies if I didn’t believe you wanted to be together for the rest of our lives." Tears trickled down her face and she turned to the kitchen and began to clean up. She carefully scraped the plates into the bin and placed the dishes in the sink.

He calmly spoke. "Do you want to have more children with me?" he knew he had to ask the big question.

"Yes. But..I really need to recover, please give me a few years before we consider trying again."

"I want to know. Do you still love me?" he asked softly.

"Yes." She didn’t turn. Tom moved up behind her and then she dropped the plates a short distance into the sink and then collapsed to the floor with her arms still held up and wrists over the sink, crossed over. She hung her head and sobbed. "I never stopped loving you." Tom folded his arms and exhaled uneasy.

Tiny patters were heard on the tile floor. It was one of their children. He dragged his plushy toy and a book towards them. He saw his mother upset and he tugged on her shirt back.

"Mummy. Hug." He offered it to make her feel better. She looked up with her tear filled eyes and then placed her hand on his arm then slid it down.

"Thank you darling." She wiped her tears. "Would you like us to read you a story?" she tried to be strong for him.

"Yes yes!" he squealed. He ran over to the couch and climbed up. She followed him over and glance up at Tom. She gave him a ‘forgive me’ smile and ‘do it for the kids’ look. Tom and her sat either side of him and they held the book and all read together. Tom looked up at her as she read enthusiastically to their son. She raised her head and he put his arm around her shoulder then drew her in and kissed her as he leaned over his son.

He resumed paying attention to their son. The book was done and he was drowsy. She lifted the toddler’s hands off the book and placed it on the table. Tom picked him up and carried him close to his chest back to the bedroom. She stood with him in the door way. He leaned in and kissed her again. She kissed the back of their son’s head.

"Good night sweetie." She cooed.

"I’ll put him to bed and check on the others. If you will have me, I will stay with you tonight." He proposed.

She held back her tears in a hard sniff. "I'd like that."

"Babe." She stopped and turned to him. "How did this happen? We are in love and yet we are constantly fighting."

She paused and smiled softly. "Because we are passionate people. And we care deeply that we fight for what we want to protect and love. Maybe if we didn’t fight, it would be proof we do not care anymore." She turned and went to bed.

Tom came in a few minutes later. He stood in the door way looking at her back. She lay on the bed under a single sheet. The night was not overly hot but she was naked. He admired her curves and then slowly stripped himself. He slowly climbed in and moved up behind her. He kissed her shoulder and slid his hand down her side under the sheet.

She moaned welcoming. Tom rubbed his thumb back and forth softly to acknowledge her then he lay on his back then rolled away. He lay staring at the wall feeling like crap. Then he felt a hand slip over his own waist and rest on his chest. He could feel her breasts against his back and her breath on his shoulders.

"I love you Tom." She kissed his back and lay against him. He brought his hand up to meet hers. He squeezed her hand then brought it up to his mouth. He kissed her palm.

"I love you too." He relaxed and smiled. She could feel the tension leave his body as he knew she had forgiven him. again. He closed his eyes to sleep. She then slid her hand down his chest and then his stomach. He opened his eyes as he felt her fingers glide through his pubic hair to their intended target.

Tom swallowed as he felt her grip him. he exhaled uneasy as her hands were a bit cold. She squeezed him slightly then softly began to pull him. he closed his eyes and moaned softly as he began to fill with blood. She responded by squeezing harder and then stroking him faster.

She slid her hand to the end of his now well hard cock and squeezed his head. He moaned loud as she gently rubbed him. her hand then cupped the end and used her middle finger to rub the base of the head. He moaned loud and shuddered as that was sensitive. She slowly slid the tip of her finger up to his hole and rubbed him between.

His hand flew down and grabbed her wrist. She then began to wank him faster. Tom couldn’t take it and rolled over and then forced her onto her back. He paused inches over her body. she smiled and looked him in the eyes. Then he plunged down and began to kiss her deeply. She grabbed his slight curls on his head and drew him in.

Long wet kisses with a mixture of breathy whispers of forgiveness and love. Tom cupped her breast and squeezed it firmly. He then quickly slid it down her curves. He slid his palm down between her legs and revelled in her heat.

"Ahh." He broke the kiss and gasped. "You are so wet." He placed his hand inside her thigh and pushed out. she quickly wrapped her legs around his waist and he exhaled hard as he felt her heat directly on his twitching cock.

Tom grabbed himself and rubbed his head against her. Hard, up and down, teasing her. He pushed himself just in and then pulled out. he felt her moan though her whole body. he did it again. Just slipping in and out the end. He then did it again. This time before he could slip out, she squeezed her legs together tight and suddenly raised her hips to force him in deep.

Both moaned loud and he arched his back. He then stayed deep and began to pump her. He broke off the kiss and pushed up. He felt her contract around him. he was close. He thrust quickly up and down she relaxed her grip around his waist and he slipped her ankles over his shoulders. He closed her eyes and dug in her nails to his arms as he hit different parts of inside her.

He started to pant hard with each thrust. He looked down at her as she seemed to be lost in her feelings. "Babe, I’m going to cum inside you."

"Tom..." She couldn’t communicate well. He knew her apprehension.

"It's ok. You have just finished your period, you won’t be receptive for a few days." He kept going. He slipped in and out this time long deep strokes.

"I don’t know.."

"It's Ok, I know you won’t get pregnant." Tom slowed and stopped. He allowed her to open her eyes and look at him. She reached up and cupped his cheek. "I promise to honour your wishes, but you have to accept my proposals, at least some of the time."

"Ok, I’ll give you this." She lowered her legs and they held each other close. "My counter off is that you can have sex with me whenever you feel like it. Whether I am in the shower, doing the dishes, asleep or if you must, while I’m breast feeding. But, it is safesex."

"Breast feeding?" he queried.

"Well, I know you get horney at inopportune times. I mean how many times have we been out or hosting a party here and you have felt compelled to fuck?" she slightly joked.

"Wait. Well yes, but you never said no." He clarified.

"No. No I didn’t. Did I.." she said with a cheeky smile. He smiled back. "Darling I love you and you are my husband. If you think I don’t want sex, you are wrong. I may not be in the mood as much as you, but do I not always feel glad for your persistence?" She kissed him softly. He then hugged her tightly and pulled her leg up over his hip and quickly slipped back in.

He groaned as he began to quickly move in her. She was so wet. He bit down on her shoulder lightly as he drew close. She then whispered in his ear. "Darling, probably.. the main.. reason... for the condom.." she panted as he thrust. "Is so I don’t sleep in the wet spot!" the both laughed as best as one could near climax.

Tom pushed her on her back and then quickly pushed down deep. He ached his back and groaned loudly as he came. He then steadying himself and didn’t pull out right away. He smiled and then leaned down and kissed her.

"Ok. I won’t make you sleep in the wet spot." He reached over and handed her a wash cloth from beside the bed. He slipped out and she wiped him and then held in under herself. He rolled onto his back and sighed with happiness. She tossed the cloth into the laundry basket and slipped under the sheets and curled up.

"Good night darling, I’m glad we could have these talks." She smiled and closed her eyes.

"Talks? I think we should have more of these ‘talks’. After all a good marriage is built on communication!" Tom said and they both laughed.

 


	2. How we met

Leah looked down at her notes and then tapped her pencil. "So, how did it all start? How did you meet?"

"It’s complicated. But it seemed like a coincidence. I was working here in Queensland, filming…

________-

 

She had won a competition to work as an extra in a movie. It was exciting. She had never acted before and she fumbled her paperwork as she walked from the studio office through the back lot. She awkwardly brushed her long brown hair from her face and dropped her contract.

"Oh hamburgers!" she jokingly exclaimed as she picked it up. She read the title and sighed. It was a confidentiality agreement. She couldn’t talk about the movie, sets.. nothing. It was a small price to pay she thought. In her other hand was the complete works of William Shakespeare. She shoved the contract in her satchel and pulled it over one shoulder and pushed it to the rear.

She hoped to get the book signed by Tom. She knew he was working on the same movie as her, but she had only caught glimpses of him. He was not in any of her scenes, and she wasn’t allowed her camera, so his autograph would have to do.

The security guard escorted her on her walk to the gate. She looked up and saw a crowd of people outside the gate, paparazzi and fans. She smiled, at least she had sort of one up on them in that she got to see Tom away from them. Albeit from a distance. He was ahead of her, in the crowd as the security made a path for him to get to his escort vehicle, set to whisk him away.

She saw the crowd quickly disbursed as he left and she could walk unopposed to the vehicle waiting to take her to her hotel. This was her daily routine. For the last few days anyway. She would hope to catch him before he got to the gate to ask him. She nearly got the opportunity yesterday, but couldn’t bring herself to approach him.

________-

The next day she waited outside the sound stage. She hadn’t seen him all day. She felt her chest tighten as she feared he had already left. She exhaled and began walk slowly. She put her drink bottle and book in her bag. No chance today, she thought. She look fairly non-descript and always wore practical clothes, and couldn’t justify spending more on an item of clothing that would cost to fill her car with petrol. Her satchel bounced along behind her slightly energetic step. She was determined to see the positives.

She loved that little bag, it was black with a white stencil of a skull, with pony tails. It made her smile as she was not a Goth, but it suited her nickname, little miss death. Sort of play on the Little Miss and Mr Men books. She was oblivious to the fact that Tom was now following her a few meters behind her. He smiled at her funny bag, he thought about it and wanted to ask her. He was about to say something.

She stopped, squatted down to tie her shoelace and sighed as she heard the paparazzi clamouring at the gate. Every day, they were loud and trying to get a snap of the other actors. She was happy they didn’t know who she was. She hated the publicity. She glanced to her right and saw some nice shoes in tailored slacks walk past her. She gasped and looked up as he had just walked pasted her. "Crap!" she whispered. She stood suddenly as she saw her well-dressed fancy go through the gate to his transport.

"Oh no!" she felt stupid. He was following her and she just missed probably the best opportunity she would have ever had. She hated herself and waited for a chance to leave. She got in the back of her transport and kicked the seat in frustration.

As the car drove off as the paps disbursed. One, a 40 year old man with short hair and a physique of someone who had plenty of gym time, watched her leave critically. He looked back through his notes. He knew she wasn’t a celebrity, but he had noticed she was leaving the same time as Tom each day. He had photographed the people leaving each day and he even got some pictures of their passes dangling around there necks. He knew she was working on the same film as him by the production company logo.

He smiled as he saw this as a way to get in and exclusive photos. He was unscrupulous and got in his car and drove to his secondary location, the hotel where Tom was staying. He followed her car and parked just short of the hotel. He sat and watched her go in. Then decided on a plan.

_________-

The following morning he woke early, grooming himself and putting excessive and unnecessary product in his hair and on his body. He got in his running gear and left his camera and grabbed his phone and headphones. He jogged up the street to the hotel and waited nearby under the guise of stretching a cramp. He had been deliberately running past the hotel for the last few weeks, since he learned Tom was staying there, setting a pattern like he was meant to be there. So the security on the hotel would just think he was one of the fitness fanatic locals and soon was a grey man.

She stepped out and began to walk slowly with her music on. She was not a running devotee but she like the endorphins after exercise. She needed a big pick-me-up after her heartbreaking near miss yesterday afternoon. She smiled and hopped she would run into Tom but she knew there was not much chance of that. He was too fast and ran with security.

The pap slowly followed her and pretended to be focused on his phone as he kept a short distance from her. He ducked into an ally and hid until she was on her return leg.

It only took 30 minutes and he set his plan in motion. He stepped out into her path, pretended to be distracted by his phone. They bumped into each other. She was a bit angry. Then he apologised.

"Shit! Sorry, I should know better than to look at my phone while walking!"

She internalised her reactive comment of ‘idiot, stop using technology and interact with society’. But she just smiled politely. "Oh it’s ok."

"Look, as a token of my foolishness, can I buy you a coffee?"

She looked at the fit man. He was not bad looking, but she could tell he had bulk cash and his cologne was annoyingly strong. Then she thought, ‘is he hitting on me?’ she raised her eyebrows and didn’t know why, then she realised she had not responded. "Oh, no thanks, I don’t drink coffee." she then felt like slapping her forehead.

"It doesn’t have to be coffee." he smiled and used his charm. She felt uneasy but flattered. He seemed genuinely interested. He then held out his palms and directed her to walk to the small café nearby. She followed but unsure.

________-

She looked down in shyness. They had been talking now for a while and she finished her orange juice ages ago, but kept sucking on the straw and stirring the ice in the glass as she listened to him. He talked about himself, but in the tale he spun was no mention of his role as a pap. His plan was working.

She felt good. Someone seemed to be interested in her. Or it seemed that way to her. She looked down at her watch, "Oh crap, I have to get ready for work." she stood up and walked out. He followed.

"Hey, do you want to get dinner tonight?"

She froze. Despite him talking about himself and her not really saying a thing… he just asked her out. "Ok, um.. I’m staying down the road at the Beachfront Hotel. They have a restaurant, um say 1800h?"

"Yeah, it’s a date!" he then jogged off the other direction as she hurried back to the hotel with a smile.

_________-

She was excited all day at the studio. She had a date. No one seemed to ever have an interest in her before in her 35 years, and she was giddy. As she strutted out of the studio to the exit gate she nearly bumped into Tom. He was talking on his phone. She paused and swallowed hard. Once again no opportunity to get an autograph. He was busy. She was too much of a stickler to the rules to feel she should interrupt him for such a petty thing.

She walked to the gate and he was following her with his security. He smiled again at the motif on her bag and he wanted to make a comment but he was on the phone and felt his own opportunity get missed to this woman whom he had seen leave the studio each afternoon.

He was in an excited conversation about a party tonight at the hotel. Some of his Avengers co-workers were going to be passing through to Sydney and were going to hook up for a couple of days.

She pricked up her ears at this. She thought that she might get to see them and take their photos if they are at the same hotel as her. She stumbled through the gate distracted by his conversation. She got into her car and thoughts quickly turned to her date. She had been single for years and longest relationship, if you could call them that, was a month long at best. And even then she never saw them every day.

This was her chance. She wanted to devote herself to someone and she was always conscious of her time, that annoying biological clock. People younger than her were married and had kids and even divorced, yet she still had not had a long term relationship, ever.

_______---

Outside the hotel, her ‘date’ was positioning himself for the photo ops. He too had heard the conversations on the phone earlier, but through lest conventional means. He had a plastic disc with a directional amplification mic and from 100 metres away he could hear most conversations.

He kept his eye out and waited for the stars to come to him.

______-

She kept checking her watch every few seconds. It was still just past 6. She ran through her mind, she did say 6?.. ‘oh no’, she thought, ‘I said 1800 hours, he must think that’s 8 o’clock… does he?’ she tried to justify to herself why he was not there and she was sitting at a table for two, alone.

7.30 came and went and she was sipping her second orange juice, trying to make it last and not fill up. The waiter kept coming and asked her if she wanted to order, but she said she was still waiting for someone. He nodded politely and carried on.

She was reading the menu and decided she would pick her meal so she could order straight away when he got there. She didn’t even notice, on the other side of the restaurant, Tom and his famous co-stars were making their way to a private section at the back of the restaurant.

She raised her head up and heard some chatter from guests who recognised Robert Downy Jr and Chris Evans. She turned her head and saw them all sitting around a large table. Tom, Chris, Chris, Robert, Elsa, Scarlet and Mark. She smiled and then resumed her vidual. She contemplated swapping seats so she could see them throughout her dinner, but she wanted to keep her eye on the entrance for her date.

_______-

It was 8.30, he still wasn’t here. She sighed and began to think she was stood up. ‘No, he’s probably still grooming himself, he looks like he loves his mirror.’ She convinced herself.

It was now 9.30 and still no date. She hung her head and the waiter felt sorry for her and bought her a glass of wine. She politely declined. "sorry, I don’t drink, but thanks for the sympathy. I think I will order thou, if it’s not an imposition on the chef."

"What? Oh no, we keep serving till 11 here." He said in a slight Irish accent, clearly he was on a working holiday. he took her order and went to the kitchen.

Tom was distracted and saw her sitting alone. As he watched her and came to the realisation before her that she was stood up and her date was not coming. He felt bad for her sitting alone for 3 hours. But his conversation was quickly redirected to a joke that Robert said about Captain America’s next film.

_________--

It was 10 by the time she completed her meal. She didn’t feel like desert but the waiter, who still felt sorry for her, said it was on the house. She shook her head and paid for her meal. She didn’t believe in tipping as people should do their job, but when the waiter returned with her card and the receipt, she handed him a 20 and shook his hand. She was about to break down in tears and he escorted her towards the back where there were no noisy crowds, just the celebrities getting suitably wasted.

He directed her to a couch in the dark corner and he squatted down and placed his hand on her knee. She nodded and he left her to go back to his work. He knew she would have been quite hurt by crying as she left the restaurant, so he thought it best to keep her undisturbed.

She cried and cried. She kept her sobs as quiet as she could. The noise of the restaurant was sufficient enough to keep attention off her. Except by one man close by, Tom. She had her face on her arm and softly sobbing when she heard an English accent softly speaking to her as he crouched down beside the couch.

"Are you ok?"

She was so distraught she didn’t even notice it was Tom. She raised her head and eyes were blurry. She wiped them and thought she was imagining things so she ignored him. Thinking it was the waiter.

"Miss?" Tom placed his hand gently on hers. "Why are you crying?" he knew it was cause she was stood up, but didn’t want to label it. She shook her head.

"It’s irrelevant." she wiped her face again, unapologetically. "Thanks for the consideration, but I’m sure your work should be your priority." she still thought it was the waiter. Tom looked down and saw her bag, it was defiantly the woman from the studio. He deicide he would make his comment to distract her. He had been wanting to ask her about it for the past week since he saw it.

"So what is with the girly skull?" he smiled and pointed to her bag. She looked down and lifted it up by the side and her book fell out. Tom reached down and picked it up. "Complete works of William Shakespeare?" he asked.

She clutched her bag and took the book from him and popped it in. "Oh, yeah, I was reading a bit. Haven’t done it for years." He moved over san sat next to her. His famous friends glanced over at his attention to the strange woman. They contemplated whether they should interrupt him and were busy nominating who should ask him to come back to the table.

Tom smiled and took the book back and opened it up. He flipped through to a book mark and looked at the play she was reading. "Midsummers night dream huh?"

She looked at the pages and was feeling a bit calmer, but she still had been so upset that she didn’t even notice it was the man she wanted to sign her book, providing her comfort. "I was just flipping through the pages."

Chris Hemsworth came over reluctantly, mostly out of guilt from his wife Elsa, who suggested that Tom cheer the girl up by bringing her over. They had all eventually worked out she had been stood up and agreed that give her a happy night to remember to forget the dirt bag who can’t read a watch.

"Hey." Chris stood unsure and scratched his head. He glanced back at Elsa who was directing him to ask. "You shouldn’t be her in the dark, come to our table and have a few drinks." Tom looked up at his best friend and smiled at the suggestion. He was pleased that they had taken a concern into her welfare.

Tom helped her stand and walked her over and they all scotched around the booth and made room for her. She sat next to Robert and Tom sat on her other side on the end. Sort of subconsciously shielding her and protecting her.

She was still looking down and didn’t react till she heard the American accents. She looked up at Chris Evens who called the waiter over to bring another round of drinks. He recited everyone’s orders then spoke to her. "So what will it be?"

"Um, just a lemonade or water thanks." she said softly.

Chris Hemsworth then loudly declared. "Haha! We have a dezo! Great, that means we can go clubbing!" Tom looked at him and questioned.

"What’s a dezo?" he wasn’t sure if he pronounced it correctly.

Elsa decided to translate for her very drunk husband, who’s accent seemed to get thicker as he got drunker. "Tom, he means she’s a designated driver, as she is not drinking."

"Oh." Tom then turned to her. "I don’t think you can ask that of her." he saw she wasn’t really in a state to drive, despite being sober. "We should just take the party back to the room." Tom wanted to go dancing but he wanted to cheer her up first.

She looked around as the waiter bought their drinks. She was still kind of numb. She looked up and some of these faces seemed familiar. But she couldn’t place them. They had facial hair and sounded slightly different to their characters. No requirement for voice coaches here. She shook her head and thought she was in a dream. She knew the actors, but it didn’t seem like she was now sitting with them. Then Tom grabbed out her book and began to challenge his friends to read with him.

She looked up at the man who had rummaged through her bag and took her book. She then realised she was sitting next to Tom all this time. Her mind started to clear up and then there was a flash. Robert had stretched out his arm and taken a selfy of himself and her looking at Tom and not the camera.

"Awe, you looked away!" he distracted her and she looked up again and he took another. "That’s better!" he slurred.

"Mr Hiddleston." she softy spoke and the table went quiet. "Mr. Hiddleston, can I have my book back?" she didn’t know why she asked. But she just placed it in her bag and then turned to him. "Excuse me.." her voice was soft and cracking. As she tried not to cry. "I want to leave." then she broke down and he pulled her in close. He realised this was quiet overwhelming for her and he patted her back. The others were a bit uncomfortable with emotions and didn’t know where to look or how to react.

Elsa sighed and directed the guys on the other side to get up so she could get out. She walked around to Tom and leaned down to her. "Darling, where are you staying?"

She looked up at the calm Aussie accent. "Room.. um.. 3021." she softy whispered with an uneasy breath of air.

"You’re stay in this hotel? Tom, I think she has had enough excitement for the night, be a gentleman and escort her to her room." Tom nodded and stood up. He took her hand and led her out through the kitchen to the back stairwell.

She paused and realised she was clutching at his arm. She immediately let him go and stepped back, wiping her tears. "Sorry, Mr. Hiddleston, I.."

"Please, not so formal. Call me Tom." he said with a soft smile. She didn’t look up. She was lost. He was the man of her fantasies, but she couldn’t even ask her for an autograph. And now he had seen her at her most vulnerable. She was thankful he wasn’t a dick about it and like most men, didn’t get weird about a woman crying in his presence.

"Ok." she nodded. She looked around for her exit. She didn’t know where she was. He opened up a side door and they were in the back of the lobby, near the lifts. He pressed the button and the doors quickly opened. They stepped in and he pressed the button for her floor. She stood starring at the glowing buttons and then realised he had his arm over her shoulders in a gentle hug of support.

The door opened and he walked her down the hall without a word. They stopped in front of her door and he leaned down slightly. "Do you have your key?" then she looked down through her bag and pulled out the card. She swiped it and pushed open the door. As she placed down her bag, she turned to hear the door close and he was inside her room.

She didn’t know what was going on. He walked over and seemed to be genuinely concerned. She decided to put him at ease. "Thank you for the escort. I will be fine." She slipped off her shoes and sat down on the end of her single bed. He squatted down in front of her.

"Look, I’m worried. I think you shouldn’t be alone. Come up to the penthouse and hang out with us. I will do my best to make you smile and forget what happened to make you eat alone tonight." he convinced her. But she was reluctant.

"Thanks but I’m not really in your circle or social station." she was kicking herself internally. ‘go with him, its Tom Hiddleston! Go experience what other fans would never get to see! Its once in a life time.’ Her conscious yelled at him.

"Are you sure?" Tom stood.

She felt her heart leap. He offered again. She then finally nodded. "Ok."

"Now, let’s get you to smile." He took her hand and pulled her to her feet. she fell forward and found herself pressed against his firm chest. She blushed and pushed herself off.

"Sorry." He handed her key card and she went to grab her shoes.

"Ah don’t worry about them, we are not going outside." He, then for some unknown reason, scooped her up and walked into the hall. She felt self-conscious.

"I’m to heavy, put me down before you hurt yourself." she didn’t demand of him. It was really cool that he picked her up.

"Heavy? I don’t think so." he then demonstrated his strength and did a squat while holding her.

"I’m 65kgs."

"That is far from heavy." he set her down slowly. She seemed to float down. She was fixated on him. He was just being his typical fun and affectionate self. She shook her head. She was looking too deep into this. He was just the kind of guy who did kiss hellos to strangers, she was the kind that thought a handshake was intimate enough.

He walked her to the lift and saw she was a bit more relaxed. He looked down at her bag. "So are you going to tell me about your bag?"

"Oh. Yeah. It’s kinda cute death thing. I feel a bit of a connection with him. He’s lonely and can’t be with anyone as if he touches the one he loves, they will die."

"Well that was deeper than I expected." Tom swallowed and pressed the button for the penthouse. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Chris to say where he was. He got a quick text back of excitement that all the others would be up soon and to crack open the fridge for them.

The elevator stopped and she stepped out bewildered by the size of the floor. It was luxury and he escorted her over to the large sunken lounge. She sat down in the huge soft sofa and he walked to the bar. "Lemonade was it?" it wasn’t really a question as he poured it into a glass anyway and handed it to her. She sipped it out of politeness. He poured himself a straight scotch and sat down near her.

He could have sat anywhere but he chose to sit shoulder to shoulder. She blushed and he quickly downed his drink. "So I’ve seen you at the studio. What are you working on?"

"Oh, same film as you. I won a comp to be an extra till the end of next week." She didn’t make eye contact, and was thankful he was not sitting opposite her, so she would be forced to look at him. She worried if she didn’t look him in the eyes, her gaze would most defiantly go down to his pants.

She shook her head and tried to tell herself not to think such things. He got up and grabbed the bottle of scotch and brought it back to the table with a bucket of ice. "Sorry, I forgot to ask if you want ice?" he popped one in his glass.

"No, its fine, it’s cold enough." she then decided to help with lightening the mood. "Don’t want to get brain freeze or nothing!" she then cringed as it sounded funnier in her head.

He chuckled and then grabbed another ice cube and popped it into his mouth and smiled. He then crunched it and sipped it drink. He topped up his drink and then looked at hers. "Um, not nice lemonade?"

"its fine."

"Just fine?" he tried to get more than one word answers out of her. "So…" he wanted to do something and leaned down and grabbed the remote from the table in front of her. She felt her heart race as he inadvertently brushed her leg. He turned on the TV and started flipping the channels. "What shall we watch?"

He kept flipping and pausing on various channels. He didn’t realise that they had a soft porn channel and Tom froze as he heard the sexual moan of a woman. He swiftly turned and fumbled the remote and it hit the table and the batteries fell out and he dived down in front of her looking for them on the floor. The doors to the penthouse opened and Robert pointed and cheered.

Tom was deeply embarrassed as he realised he was kneeling between her legs and his hands were on her thighs. She looked down in shock and Tom tried to explain. He stood suddenly and knocked over the table. He stepped on the other remote and the volume of the TV increased and Chris laughed as he knew Tom was being caught in an unfortunate situation.

They walked in and then Tom resumed his scrambled to the TV and turned it off directly on the box. He looked flustered and she darted off to another room, very embarrassed. "I wasn’t watching it!" Tom protested.

Robert decided to taunt him a bit more. "Well you could have hung a sock on the door if you were busy."

Then Chris Evans interjected. "Isn’t it meant to be a tie if you are trying to score?"

"I wasn’t trying to score!" Tom was losing, not realising his friends were just playing and knew he wasn’t the type to sleep around with anyone these days, even other actresses that he knew well. Tom took off after her and Robert put the batteries back in the remote and turned the TV on to a music video channel.

_______-

 

Tom found the closed door down the hall and knocked softly. "Um…" he then swore under his breath. He didn’t even know her name. that made this worse. "Are you ok, sorry about that. I’m not that kind of guy… I don’t watch that kind of porn… I mean I’m straight…" She fumbled his words as he was too drunk for clear thinking and he was just muddling his words. She realised this and opened the door.

She smiled and nodded. "I know. You are an all-around nice guy. I was just embarrassed." she stepped back and he walked into the bedroom. She sat on the bed and he stood awkward at the door. "Come on, don’t make the place untidy and sit down."

"Oh." he walked over and sat next to her. She seemed better and coming out of her shell a bit. "I’m not a prude or against sex.. I was just saying.."

She cut him off. "It’s ok, you don’t need to justify yourself. You are very drunk and I’m sure things make sense in your head, but don’t quite get articulated to the same extent."

"I’m not that drunk." he was not really slurring his words yet, nor swaying or unsteady on his feet.

"Can you legally drive a car? No? then you are drunk." She stated a matter of factly. "I don’t mind, it’s just not something I would do."

"yeah, why is that? I mean not to sound harsh, but if I was dumped like you just got done, I would have totally tried to kill some brain cells with hard liquor." he was now starting to sound very drunk. He shook his head and she looked around. "What?"

"um, excuse me, I’m just going to go." she stood up and he grabbed her arm.

"No, stay!" he sounded a bit desperate but didn’t mean it like she thought. "Don’t leave."

She then looked down at his tight grip on her wrist. "I know you are not into this, but I would suggest you let me go or I will have to ‘go’ right here." she shrugged.

"Huh?" he then nodded. "Oh, you’re not leaving, you are just going to the bathroom." He didn’t let her hand go. He relaxed his grip a bit then when she went to pull free he gripped her tight and stopped her. "Hey, what do you mean by ‘not into this.’ I have no idea what you are talking about?" he looked very confused.

"Sorry, but you are not my boyfriend or husband."

Tom let her go. "Shit, I didn’t know you were married, I just though.. wait, I though your were just stood up?" He was easily confused at the moment.

"I have neither a boyfriend nor husband, I was just saying that the ‘thing’ I was not eluding to is something that I would not share with someone I wasn’t in a committed relationship with." she walked to the door and he followed.

"Wait, you haven’t really answered my question." he followed her into the bathroom and she turned and pushed him back with a firm hand on his chest.

"Mr. Hiddleston, as I said, you are not mine, so you don’t get to be present when I go to the bathroom." She shoved him out the door and closed it. She walked to the toiled and sat down when the door opened.

"No, you haven’t answered me." he was not aggressive. He immediately stopped when he saw her going and then closed the door. He then realised he closed himself in and then swore and then opened the door quickly and pulled it shut with him now outside. "Sorry!" he suggested.

He stood outside holding on to the door handle, worried about what a fool he had been. He hadn’t walked in on someone in the bathroom since he was a child. Then he copped a few punches from his sister as a result. He felt like it had been ages. He wanted to know if she was done, but felt self-conscious about yelling through the door. He also had second thought about listening to see if she was done.

Possibly spurred on by her situation, he felt his own desire to urinate. He knocked on the door. "Um, are you done? I kinda have to go?"

She didn’t respond and he sighed and opened the door just as she was flushing the toilet. He rushed over to her and swiftly pulled open his pants and started to go as she stood to the side. She was shocked and not ashamed by how turned on she was right now. He groaned with relief and she managed to leave before he was done.

She swallowed as she washed her hands and tried not to look at him in the mirror, nor focus on the sound of him going. She shook her head when she started to smile. She wished she was there. She might have been able to get a look at what he kept in his pants. She felt guilty that her perversions were dominating her thoughts and she was tempted to go over and give him a hand.

He flushed and joined her at the sink. He looked more embarrassed than her. She decided to milk that. "I’m sorry, I just had to go." He said.

"So there is only one bathroom in the penthouse?" she suggested rhetorically.

"Oh?.. no, I didn’t come here cause you were in.. It’s not like I was trying to see.." He blushed and left. She followed slowly with a smile then tried to suppress it when he turned back to her. He slumped down on the bed, trying to think of an apology.

"Thomas, shut up." She walked over and held out her palms. "Do you want to start over?"

"Fuck yes." he then stood up and swore again. "shit."

"What?"

"I don’t know your name. I feel really stupid." he stepped back and scratched his head. He was sure he never introduced himself.

She extended her hand to help him get on track. "Hi, I’m Tara Reader, nice to meet you." He shook her hand and felt awkward.

"Hi, I’m Tom Hiddleston."

"I know." he then did his trademark nervous laugh as he looked down and away. He stepped close to give her a kiss hello then stepped on her bare feet. She yelled and he stumbled and landed on her as she fell back on the bed. They paused at the uncomfortable silence then laughed.

He didn’t get up off her. He raised himself up slightly but his face was still in close proximity to hers. His expression calmed and he then closed his eyes slightly and softly kissed her lips. She refused his advances at first but then thought, ‘what the hell!’ She relaxed a bit and he felt her resistance to him fade.

He then pushed his weight down and began to kiss her more deeply and slid his hand up to her head and ran his fingers up the side to her long hair. He massaged her scalp as he explored her mouth. They both started to gasp and pant as the kiss was making it harder to breathe. He slipped his other hand down the top of her thigh and then pushed from the inside to widen her spread. He hooked her lower leg around his waist and she could tell he was turned on.

There was little hiding the hardness in his pants, grinding against her. He reached down under himself and she felt his hand slip under her dress and was now cupping her and gently squeezing her through her underwear, with a nervous hand. She managed to break off the kiss and push him off.

"No… I cant." she wiped her mouth and he felt ashamed.

"I’m sorry, what.. I thought.." he was lost. "Don’t you like me?"

"That is irrelevant." She fixed her dress and went for the door.

"Sorry. I don’t understand."

She sighed. "You are very drunk, and I don’t think you would act this way if you were sober. So rather than you doing something you will regret, I am stopping this now in your best interests." she headed out the door and he pursued her before she got to the lounge.

"Please, just talk to me. I’m sorry."

"I know. That’s because you are not in a right state of mind. If a guy took advantage of a girl who was drunk, he would be a rapist. You might not see that, but I think that’s what it would be if I continued and did not stop you." She was calm and not angry with him.

"I would never rape anyone." he loudly whispered.

"I didn’t say that, I was implying that, I am taking advantage of you." she softly corrected him. He looked shocked.

"But you can’t overpower me."

"Ok, you are drunk, but I will try to explain. You would never normally sleep with someone like me, let alone be friend’s with." he went to talk and she stopped him. "Let me finish. If you can honestly say you would not be ashamed of me on your arm as your girlfriend or wife, then ok, but I would say the answer was no in reality." She placed her hand on his cheek. "Tom, I really like you, and I would love to be yours, but that is just a fantasy."

He was a bit hurt by her rejection. He hadn’t been refused in his advances before, definitely not since more people knew who he was these days. She turned and was almost in the lounge, he grabbed her hand. "Please. Wait. I want to talk to you about this."

"Ok. What did you want to know?"

"First, I think I need a drink." he led her to the kitchen.

"I think another drink is the last thing you need." he then turned on the kettle. "Ok, tea. Right. That’s better."

He sighed and folded his arms. "I’m going to be straight up with you. I haven’t really dated for a while, let alone be intimate. It’s just too complex these days." he turned and placed out a couple of cups.

"Oh, none for me." she gestured to the second cup.

"No tea?" He looked surprised. "I’m not going to drug you."

"I know. I just don’t drink tea, or coffee…"

"Or alcohol?" he completed her sentence. "It’s hard for me to trust people these days. I know that most people have an angle, they want something. It hard to know if they genuinely like me for me." Tom poured the hot water then jiggled the tea bag. "I don’t know why I kissed you. Perhaps it was my inhibitions reduced from… ok.. yeah.. A lot of liquor. But you reciprocated." he turned back to her.

"Well I was in a desperate place. I was lonely and you, for some unknown reason, were the wonderful thing attempting to fill the void." she leaned against the kitchen bench. He put in a splash of milk and then a bit of sugar.

"I think we both acted irresponsibly. It has been a while." he sipped his tea and sighed. She didn’t expect this much detail given freely. "more than six months now." he sipped again, it was still hot and he placed his cup down. "There is only so much ‘love’ one can give one ‘self." he slightly said in jest.

"hehe." she then decided to be serious. "That is exactly why we should not act on these urges." she hated this, but she was acting in her own interests. "I really like you, but we can never have a relationship, it won’t work. So rather than exacerbate my heartbreak, I would rather not start anything."

"Why can’t we work?" he moved over to her and whispered. "I want to know why you think we couldn’t be together?"

"I have many." She turned away. "I guess in broad strokes… I don’t live here, we don’t share a common household, we would be apart for much of our years, but especially I don’t know anything about you." She turned back. "I am a pretty shit fan, I haven’t even stalked you on the internet. To be honest, I’m not even sure of your birthdate."

He relaxed a bit and then moved in and gave her a hug. She exhaled and then slipped her arms around him. He let her go then put his own points. "Ok, fair, but here’s something you haven’t done." he then smiled. "Tell me why it will work?" He raised his eyebrow.

"So the positives? I don’t know. It all still hinges on one thing, I don’t know you and you don’t know me. So I’m not going to quantify a decision without all the variables." She folded her arms and he leaned back, he kept his hands on her shoulders and then went back to his tea, which was much cooler now.

"Ok, let’s go talk about us then." he walked back down the hall to a different bedroom. He sat down on the end of the bed. He patted the spot next to him. She sat down with a heavy sigh. It was now well after midnight and she was very tired. "Let’s start with the important questions, are you even looking for a boyfriend?"

"Technically no, I’m looking for a husband." She clarified.

"Ok, yes, that’s a good start. What are you looking for? No wait, that is too vague… what are your deal breakers as to what makes a guy ineligible?" Tom sat back a bit and began to be only propped up by his elbows. She stayed sitting up.

"Well, I know it’s a bit unreasonable, but I would prefer he did not drink or smoke at all. But I don’t really know guys who don’t drink." she then gestured to him. "Case in point. But I guess absolute would have to be, never been in a legal union before and or ever had children. I’m sorry but, I want to be the only one he would focus on. Defiantly not share his love with potential organ donors scattered across the country."

"Organ donors?"

"Children." She explained.

"Ah.. So no ready-made families. Yeah that’s a fair point. Well, you don’t have to worry about that, I’m sure if I had any children, the mystery women would have already come out of the woodwork to gouge me by now. Plus I pretty much remember every woman I ever had been with and as none of them were pregnant in the months after we broke up.. I don’t think there is any worries there."

He adjusted his shoulders to get her to lay back. She finally took the hint and then lay back on her elbows. "And you?" she asked.

"I don’t know, think you made some fair points. I guess you’re right about knowing people. I guess I want someone who is not a doormat, who has her own career. I don’t like those types whose sole job is to find a rich husband and never work a day in their lives. I’m not a fan of people who don’t contribute to society." He leaned back and put his hands under his head and exhaled. "Incidentally, what do you do for work?"

"I have been with the same employer since I was 17. I just changed jobs and switching from HR to getting my mechanic apprentice." She stayed up on her elbows and looked at his chest rise and fall. "It may be a bit late in life for a trade, but I hate HR and trying to get out for years."

"Well that is a big change." he yawned. He was tiered too. "so tell me about your family?"

"I have a brother and sister, my parents live in the mountains near here.. when I mean near I mean Australian near, so 100kms. I don’t live up here, I live down south where I’m doing my apprenticeship. What about you?" she realised that sounded weird as she should probably know something about this man she likes to watch.

He picked up on how that must have sounded too. But he humoured her as she may not know all the facts, as the internet is such a reliable source of info. "I have two sisters and my parents are divorced."

She was silent. She took it in. she thought he came from a stable home, he was so well adjusted. She felt her eyelids get heavy as she fought off the micro sleep. She rolled onto her side and tried to talk, but the words seemed heavy and soft. "Oh, do you have any pets?" she didn’t know if she spoke loudly enough as she was tired and beginning to drift off. He blinked long and then felt his leg twitch. He rolled onto his side and saw she was fast asleep.

He smiled and moved close and put his arm over her waist. He closed his eyes and felt her hand slip down and rest on his cheek.

_________-

 

Chris Hemsworth put down his beer and realised he had finished off the carton of Crownies. He went to find Tom and get more beer. He wandered down the a halls and looked in various rooms. He then found them both fully clothed and passed out on top of the covers in one of the bedrooms. Chris smiled and turned off the lights and closed the door slightly.

He went back to the others. Robert arched up. "So where is he? We’re out of beer."

"They are asleep."

"Naked?"

"Nar, they are both so lame. Fully dressed, holding hands and not under the covers." Chris slumped down. "I know he’s lonely but he’s not going to score if he keeps treating women like they are his sister."

"Depends on the sister." Robert snickered. Chris looked confused. "You know, like how much he ‘loved’ his sister in Crimson Peak?" Chris saw the funny side. "Seriously thou, he’s cracking on to a heartbroken woman? Not really a great plan. He’s really clinging lately, I mean when was the last time he just got laid?"

"I hear that!" Chris tapped his glass to Robert’s. "Nothin’ like a good fuck to feel good about yourself!" Chris then copped an elbow from his wife. "What? I must get plenty of happiness from you darling." he leaned in and kissed her cheek. Elsa shoved his face away with a smile.

_________-

 

The sun was just an hour from coming up and the cool blue sky was laminating the room. Tom opened his eyes and saw her still passed out. He needed a piss but didn’t want to disturb her. He then felt her stir. She opened her eyes. "Oh. You’re here. Did you stay beside me all night?" she asked like it was unusual.

"Yes." he was much more clear headed now. He remembered what he did and said. He disputed the fact he was too drunk to make any decisions last night. He then looked at her quizzically. "just to confirm, I did kiss you last night.. right?"

"Yes. You did, among other things." she moved slightly and looked down at his chest to avoid eye contact.

"Yeah, I remember. I was just confirming.." he swallowed then he couldn’t make eye contact. "was I any good?"

She thought for a moment to make him sweat "yes." she then smiled. He moved in and gave her a peck. He then put his hand on her cheek and stroked it with his thumb. He then closed his eyes slightly and kissed her lips, more than a greeting. She gently took his wrists and pushed his hands back and broke the kiss.

"I thought you like my kisses?" he asked.

"I do, but I’m not yours, remember?" she pushed back further and sat up. He sat up and looked a bit lost. She patted his leg and stood up. "Hey, I could have sworn we had the door open and the light on."

"Oh, I guess someone must have closed it." Tom shrugged.

"So one of your friends saw us together and now probably have the wrong idea." she wasn’t happy. "How do we know they didn’t take any pictures or post anything about us?"

"I don’t think they would. They are not like that." he got up and she looked down the hall. The apartment was silent. She shook her head and walked across the hall to the bathroom. She closed the door and Tom contemplated going in again. She had beat him to the toilet, again. He stood uncomfortable outside. He groaned "this is becoming a bad habit." he then knocked. "Hey, don’t worry about them."

He looked around and looked at the door, It wasn’t fully closed. He peered through. He couldn’t see her but he slowly opened the door. "Hey, I need to go, so I’m coming in."

She saw him come in and he stood and starred at her for a moment. She raised her eyebrow in surprise but was not offended. "I’m using the toilet, so you are not going to be able to use it." she then muttered under her breath, ‘but there are alternatives.’ He didn’t hear her and he had one hand inadvertently clutching himself. He looked at the sink and then back at her.

He then decided she would not like that. He felt his bladder just want to burst and he just had to hold on a bit longer. "Awe fuck it!" He moved to the sink and began to urinate. He sighed with relief and she finished up.

"So you still determined to not use a toilet elsewhere in the penthouse?" She stood behind with her arms folded. He turned on the tap and then looked up to the mirror. He saw her behind him.

A cheeky smile went across his face. "Nope." he turned around and gave her a quick peck. She slapped his ass as he passed her. "Ooo! Is that cause I was a bad boy?!" he joked as he chuckled leaving the room.

She called after him. "No! If you want to know what real punishment is, but if you keep channelling Loki, I will punish you for real." He stopped and turned back to her.

"Huh. So what would that be like? I didn’t think it was punishment when you slapped my ass. That was more of a turn on." he gave her a wide smile and placed his hands either side of the hall to sort of block her path. She moved closer and he leaned down to kiss her but she pulled back.

She patted his cheek in a slightly patronising way. "Oh darling you have no idea." she then winked at him. "put it this way, 50 shades of grey is foreplay."

"Ooo! I want some of that!" he looked like he was just about to jump her. She stepped back.

"Well, I need to head back to my room." she sniff. "I want a shower."

"There is a shower in here you can use." he coyly suggested. She patted his chest and walked past him.

"Sorry babe, but I don’t think it would be the best idea for me to be naked where you can get to me!" she joked and he then turned to grab her and she ran down the hall and the both laughed as he tried to catch her. He grabbed her when they stumbled into the lounge. There were Avengers passed out on the couch and floor.

Chris and Elsa had retired to a bedroom down the hall. Scarlet was making toast and eating it slowly as she watched Tom being playful with this stranger, but he seemed to have let down his defences. She had known him for a while and she had never seen someone break down his walls so quickly. She put down her toast and worried about the fall out.

She had dealt with his last break up years ago. He had been with her for years and he was even thinking of making it permanent. But she grew tired of the long absences and his sometimes immature way of showing affection.

Tom was more suited to treating those he cared about like his male friends. A sort of rough play and practical jokes. But she didn’t take to kindly to a joke that embarrassed her in front of her snooty friends.

They grew apart and she decided to dump him by text message. He was pissed that she would be so cowardly, but what upset him was when he came across a post on line of her with another man, well all over another man, in a night club a couple of days after she broke it off. He didn’t know the guy but she was kissing him and then something inside him snapped.

Scarlet caught the fallout and Chris was in London for Tag Heuer came by and saw what a mess he was. He didn’t even want to go for a run or even shave for a few weeks. Chris slapped him out of it and knew that a good workout released the endorphins he needed to feel better.

Tom looked up as he clutched Tar around her waist. He saw Scarlet analysing him. He raised his hand. "Morning." He stood up and calmed down. He walked over to the kitchen and sat down at the counter. "any toast for me?"

"Nope." she smiled and put some toast on for him. "So, how’s your head?" she referred to his hangover but she was not so subtly hoping he would gossip about what happened last night.

"Fine. I wasn’t that drunk." he stole her toast and took a bite and popped it back on her plate with a smile. Tara stood back and watched the exchange with the two friends. She worried that he treated her as she treated Scarlett. Was he interested in her or was he like this to any woman, she thought.

She swallowed as she became worried that she was not special, she was just some notch on a bed post. Her insecurities were starting to grow. She felt a pang of jealousy. She knew she didn’t stand a chance against someone who looked like Scarlet.

Tara decided to quit while she was ahead. She convinced herself that it was a good thing, she met her idol and got to hang out with him, even got a kiss or two. She stepped back and then saw her bag on the floor in the lounge. She grabbed her bag and left quietly.

The doors to the lift closed and she repetitively pressed her button till the elevator began to move. She felt her chest tighten and she began to cry. She didn’t want it to affect her, but she was more vulnerable than she cared to admit.

Tom turned as he saw Scarlet’s gaze shift to the vacant space behind him. Tom got up and realised that Tara wasn’t there. He looked around and then back to Scarlet. "Where is she?"

"She left." She didn’t seem to care.

But he did. "What?" Tom softly gasped. He ran to the lift and pressed the button and nothing happened. He looked up to see the indicator showed the lift was going down and stopped on the third floor. She had gone back to her room. He tried to convince himself she was just going back to have that shower. The lift finally came back and Tom was about to get in.

"Tom, wait." Scarlet sort of sighed. No feeling like giving advice. "Give her space. If you really like her and want her to be a part of your world, well, you need to give her a chance to adjust."

He knew she was right. But he didn’t want to just ‘wait and see’. He took a moment then decided to get a shower himself. He walked back to his room and began to strip off. He looked down at his body in the full length mirror. He still had a semi and he smiled as he gave himself a bit of a stroke. He stepped into the shower and kept thinking about what he would say to her. Did he really like her? Was he really boyfriend material?

He scrubbed his body as a million thoughts ran through his head. He stopped and turned off the shower. He paused and didn’t move as a key idea became his single thought. ‘why her?’. Why did he feel this bond with her? He knew something felt right but it still scared him. He stepped out of his trance and began to dry off.

Tom slowly got dressed and realised these are probably her thought’s too. He knew she was a fan of his and this was a lot for someone to deal with. He slipped on his shoes and headed to the lift. He pressed the button and confidently exhaled. He was going to get some answers and having a clear head would help. He approached her door with a smile then paused before he knocked.

"Tara? It’s Tom." there was no response. He knocked again. He thought deeply and then peered through the spy hole. There was no apparent movement in the room. He decided to go downstairs and see if she was there. He approached the counter, then had second thoughts. He went to the back to the lift and went down to the lower parking garage.

He began walking around and noticed that each room had an allocated spot. He looked around for spot that linked to her room. The space was empty. He then thought she might not have had a car here. After all each day she was dropped off, like him to the studio. He then squatted down and held his hand over the cement. He could feel the warmth and smell the recent exhaust.

She was gone. He hoped he hadn’t driven her away. He briskly walked back to the lobby and knew the young woman on the desk recognised him. He decided to use his connections to get some info.

"Hello." he said with his most charming voice. The girl swooned.

"Good morning Mr. Hiddleston. What can I do for you?"

"A friend of mine left her bag at my place but she wasn’t in her hotel room and her car is gone. Can you give me her number so I can tell her not to worry about her it? That it wasn’t missing or stolen."

"Sure." she didn’t even listen to him really. "Um, what are her details?"

"Tara Reader, room 3021… um its booked under the studio, I think." he waited patiently.

"Oh yes you are right. Here you go." she handed him a piece of paper with her contact details. Tom smiled and headed to the lift and pulled out his phone. He started to dial her. He held the phone to his ear and listened to it ringing then no answer. He hung up and frustrated went back to his room.

 

________-

 

His guests were awake. If you could call it that. They were hunched over the counter, nursing their coffees and Beroccas. Tom walked over and few looked up in reaction. They were too hung over.

Tom planted himself next to Robert and tapped his fingers like he wanted to ask something but wouldn’t spit it out. Robert looked up through his sunglasses and raised his eyebrow. "Is there something I can help you with?" he rubbed his sore head.

"You have an app on your phone, to find it right?"

"Yeah." Robert dragged out his response, wondering why Mr Squeaky clean would want to ‘find’ a phone. He tapped his phone and opened the app.

"I can’t find my phone." He took the mobile and typed in the number. He waited and the map opened up. He tapped the map and a pin came up. He zoomed out to see where it was. It was near the studio. "The studio… that makes sense." He said softly.

Robert leaned over and looked at the screen. "I thought you had your phone last night?"

Tom handed him back the phone and headed to the door. "I’ll catch you guys later, I’m off to work to get my phone." Tom rushed out.

The others looked at each other and Scarlet snatched Robert’s phone. She looked at the number on the app. "Hummm, that is not Tom’s number, his doesn’t start with 044." Scarlet then smiled coyly but a bit pissed. She realised it must have been the girl from last night.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom gets her talking about what she is after. But is he still only interested in one thing?

Tom began pacing around the backlot looking for her. He had no idea what he was going to say. He didn’t have to work today, and was surprised she was working. He walked in to many sets, they were mostly vacant, save for a few carpenters or set designers. There was not many crew either.

He grabbed his phone and wondered if he should download the app on his phone. He shook his head. She had to be here somewhere. He saw a red light on one of the sound stages and decided to wait for it go out. He paced back and forth and kept glancing up to see if it was clear to go in.

The light went out and he went in. he spotted her amongst the other extras. He saw them start to disperse and break for the next shot. Tom hid at the back watching her and whether she was going to see him. He wanted to get her attention, but he didn’t want to draw attention to himself. He spotted one of the makeup artists that he was working with.

"Hey, Matt."

"Hi Tom! I didn’t know you were working today?"

"No. I just need to get some things from my trailer. Can you do me a favour? The woman in the blue dress, can you get her to come here? But don’t tell her its me." Tom tried to justify his lie. "I have done some Shakespeare with her and I want to surprise her."

Matt nodded. "You are such a nice person. Always making an effort to help new actors." he headed over to relay Tom’s message.

Tara looked puzzled when Matt spoke to her. He pointed in Tom’s direction and she headed over. She didn’t know where specifically and as she rounded a large set peice she saw Tom.

"Hi, I was hoping to talk. I mean you left so suddenly." Tom was concerned. "Why didn’t you just tell me you were working?" She stepped back. He took her hand. "Come with me."

He lead her out and they headed to his trailer nearby. Tom stood over her, not trying to intimidate her, but he still wanted answers. She came out firing.

"One: it’s none of your business where I go or what I do, I don’t have to justify where I’m going. Two: you didn’t seem to get it. As much as I care about you or how much I have fantasied about meeting you… it’s not going to work!" She stepped forward to show she was not going to back down.

"Why are you fighting me? What have I done wrong?" He backed down.

"Ok, tell me this.. are you single?"

"What? What kind of question is that?" He avoided the question.

"Johansen, are you fucking her?" She threatened. Tom did his nervous laugh and broke eye contact. "Wrong response." She went to push past him.

"No!" he grabbed her. "I’m not currently sleeping her." he admitted.

"But you were?"

"Ok, look, lets go somewhere where we can talk privately." He whispered and then lead her out the door. They headed towards his trailer behind the main sound stage. He opened the door for her and she went in with arms folded. She wasn't really keen on this, but she kept forgiving him in her head, because it was Tom.

He exhaled a loud sigh and sat down on the bed. She remained standing. He didn’t get to speak. "Look, I realy like you, but I, " She stared to count on her fingers to his face. "One, don’t do group, I'm not the ‘other woman’, I do not do ‘open’ relationships. I have no intentions of ‘sharing’ whomever I am romantically involved with. So don’t assume because of your status that you can treat woman like things and use them for when you want a fuck."

She was pissed and he raised his eyebrows wondering where this came from. Was she the first woman who was strong enough to tell him straight? He then shook his head, he didn’t think he treated woman as objects.

"Tara, please, I didn’t mean that. Please don’t think that is my intentions." she relaxed a bit. She couldn’t stay mad at him. "Truth is, I don’t know why I am perusing you. I have never done this before. I guess most of the woman I have dated were friend for a while first." He then thought, no one ever rejected his advances before.

"Are you after something particular?" She sighed. "I don’t think I can give you what you want. I know who I am and I think its not suitable for you to associate with me." she tried to sabotage her happiness again.

"What on earth do you mean by that? Are you a criminal or something?" He was concerned. If she was, it defiantly wouldn’t be ideal for him.

"No, I have never even gotten a speeding ticket in my life. No I was referring to my sexual preferences." She sat down opposite him. He looked at her in a mixture of intrigue and apprehension. "Tom, there is more to love than sex, and more to sex than missionary."

"So, like bondage and spanking?" Tom felt an internal curiosity stirring.

"Somewhat, but I warn you that 99.96% of my fetishes, I have like but have never found a willing partner, or just done to myself.. cause I don’t have a boyfriend."

"I can see that." he sat forward intrigued. "Its not really something you ask someone on a first date." He then tried to make her feel better. "I have smacked a girls bottoms while I was giving her anal, so I know how hard it is to get someone to trust you enough to push that limit."

She wanted to slap him for being dumb. Smacking bottoms was not exactly ‘riskay’, but she decided she would let him think that was boring. "Oh, have you? That’s cool. So you did that regularly?"

"No." he sounded disappointed. "Only once, it was a few years ago now." This made her happy. Tom bit his lip and reached over to take her hand. "I don’t want to treat you as a piece of meat. I want to do this right."

He then moved closer and knelt down between her legs and kissed her softly. She let him, but kept it short. He placed his hands on her thighs and then sat back to give her a bit of space. "Tom, be honest. When was the last time you were intimate with anyone?"

He blinked, kind of hurt and his eyes had a slight glaze as he felt like he was going to cry. His last time was with his last girlfriend and that was far from a amicable split. "Id rather not talk about it."

"Please. Be honest. I want to know. If you don’t really want to be open with me, I don’t think I can have a relationship with you. I'm sorry Thomas." she stood up and he kept hold of her hand. "I think that you might not be at the same point as me."

"Where are you at?"

"I want a husband, not some fuck buddy." She smiled and then kissed his cheek in a cold greeting. "You are very handsome, and I'm sure, when you are ready, you will find someone who will fill your heart."

Tom didn’t let her go. Then he blurted out. "She tried to get pregnant. She lied about being on the pill and was trying to extort money from me. When that didn’t work she tried to take photos of me naked to sell on the internet. But I have a very good barrister on retainer, plus I managed to delete anything that was even slightly private."

"Did she get any photos of you naked?"

"No. but the worst part was she was playing me for months. She made me feel like she was the one. I even asked my mother for grandmother’s ring to propose."

"Wow, that was a big step." She moved back towards him. "I'm sorry, I didn’t know why you are hesitant to have a relationship. Forgive me."

"That’s just it." Tom shook his head and smiled, taking both of her hands in his. Shaking them enthusiastically. "I feel safe with you. Like you are my soul mate or something. I don’t know why. Its just a feeling." he looked around then back at her with a relived smile. "Its little things, you make my heart race. Its like I know you, or you are so similar to me emotionally."

"Oh?" she was flattered. She felt the same but was still reluctant to give him her heart. "Tom, I'm not trying to push you away, I just don’t want to be hurt. I truly am not conventional." she moved close to him and he let her hugged her. "I mean, if you want to know some of what I like, I will share myself completely, but I warn you, it has been a while."

"I told you we're the same. "

"Ok. Um, well. I think you could call me an enigma." She joked. He looked up and raised his eyebrows with his smile.

"How so?"

"Well, if I was with a guy, and we went on a date, then I would be just as happy watching V8 touring cars as I would a Baroque chamber orchestra." She looked down at his hand and began to wipe the dirt off as she spoke.

"Sounds like you are easy to please." Tom coughed slightly.

"Oh I’m a terribly stubborn person. I am very picky and have particular morals that I won’t break." She held up her left hand and wiggled her empty ring finger. "Hence the reason I am single!" she laughed.

"So what code won’t you break?" he felt a bit better now. It was calming to talk.

"Well, I’m a non-drinker, non-smoker, never taken drugs, unless a doctor prescribes them." She sat back and thought a bit. "I just don’t like kissing an ashtray, that is, guys that smoke."

"hehe." He weakly laughed. "You don’t drink at all? Not even water?" he joked.

She softly punched his shoulder in jest. "You are just being silly now!"

"I drink, I like it its calming. Does that make me bad?" He tried to gauge her.

"I don’t know you, but probably not. I just don’t think I need to drink, it’s not religious, I just don’t want to get drunk and wake up with my eggs fertilised!" she smiled and he laughed.

"Stop making me laugh!" she took his hand and patted the back of it with her other. " what do you do for work, apart from the movies?" He tried to change the subject, just in case she wanted money or something from him. he was very protective.

"I have had the same employer since I was 17. I graduated year 12 then went straight into work, well after a couple of months holidays with my family over Christmas." She paused and thought about them. She squeezed his hand.

"The guy who stood you up. Was he your boyfriend?"

"No, it was a first date."

Tom felt bad. He didn’t want to ask, but he was concerned more that she was so emotional over something that didn’t seem to mean anything. "I guess I was prepared to put my heart out. I was going to do what he wanted to keep him. I know that sounds strange, but these days a lot of pers go out and meet people and sleep with them and don’t know their name, or forget it."

"True, but I know your name." he said softly.

"But you are not my boyfriend or husband." She nudged him.

"I’m just saying that I am not interested in just sleeping with random men, I would hope that the next guy I sleep with was significant to me. it’s just me, I kind of don’t believe children should be created out of wedlock. That is, that people who get married when they are pregnant, don’t sound like they have planned their lives."

"So no sex before marriage?" he quipped like it was arcane.

"No, just no children before marriage. You gotta sleep with a guy before you marry him, how are you gunna know he’s any good?!" she laughed.

"hum." He wanted to know. "So, you going to elaborate on your fetish?"

"well most people don’t jump straight in, they usually go to ‘different positions’ before making those assumptions." She was quite confident in this.

"So you are into that stuff?" He didn’t know whether he should press but he was curious.

"Most guys talk a big game but when it comes down to it, theory and practice are not the same and they aren’t willing to try something out of their comfort zone." She saw he was no longer shaking and the impending shock was subsiding.

"Like what." He looked at her intently, like a shy schoolboy. He tried to gauge if she was willing to tell him such things.

"Look, I like some stuff that I haven’t really found a suitable man to do it with."

"What is suitable, for starters." He asked eagerly.

"well, he has to be a nice upstanding man who would be the kind of chap I would marry."

"Well that’s a big ask." He raised his eyebrows.

"I mean that I am not young and not interested in random roots. I want quality and companionship with a side of kink." She pulled out a tablet from her bag. "I probably should just show you." she handed him the screen and he looked at a figure wearing a gas mask and a black leather motorbike gear.

He paused. "this... is .. you?" he tried to visualise, he stared at the picture.

"Yes."

"So you still talk to the guy who took the picture?"

"What? Have not heard of remotes or timers? No, no man has ever taken my picture, none of the many gigs of smut I have posed for."

"gig? Like you have lots of porn shots of yourself? I thought that was a male thing." He went to swipe the screen to see more. She took it from him.

"Yes, but it’s not for public viewing. I don’t have a device connected to the cloud, and I don’t post pictures of me very often, definitely none with my face showing." She went to put the tablet away.

"I would like to see them." He said softly as he placed his hand on hers, clutching the tablet.

"no. I don’t know you well enough to show you, nor do I know your limits or mostly how much your opinion of me is changing as I show you." she was reluctant.

"it’s only fair. I showed you mine, you show me yours." He twisted slightly and placed his hand on her thigh.

"Yeah, that’s probably fair. I’m hoping that the guy I’m with would be mostly equal. Like if he wants to try something sexually... well that I will get to return the favour."

"Oh.. um, you .." Tom couldn’t phrase it.

"Well, if you fucked me I get to fuck you, to put it bluntly."

"that’s fair." He looked down at her hands and waited for her to give him the tablet back.

She handed it to him and he looked at the picture of her, in the same gear as before, but this time her breasts were visible through the open jacket and he then glanced up at her. "Tom, you did just hear what I said."

"Yeah."

"Ok, I don’t think you did." She looked him in the eyes. "fuck, as in being penetrated. I mean I would fuck you." she leaned over and swiped the screen and he saw another picture, this time she was wearing a strap on.

"Oh, like you fuck me analy." He paused and blushed. "I guess I didn’t quite get what you said. But, yes, I think that is still fair."

"really? Most guys, well all guys I even have this conversation with... oh don’t worry they can be counted on one hand... well, they all say.. ‘it’s a one way valve or I’m a giver not a receiver’." She swiped the screen and she was now dressed as a baby.

"uh huh." He stated unsure. "like do you use the nappy?"

"I don’t know whether we should get into the whole watersports thing. I mean I guess I feel comfortable talking to you but like I said." She took the tabled from him and put it in her bag. "I don’t know you."

"What is watersports? You don’t look like a water skier or scuba diver."

"Piss, and the sexual use of. Kinda like how cumming is a release, well piss is kinda used that way, and others, but that is my take on it." She didn’t know where to look.

"So explain it to me. start from the basics.. even if it is something you have never done." He reassured her, but was also curious to this sort of thing.

"I guess, it could be something as simple as watching someone piss, or holding a guy while he went.. or .. interfering with him."

"Interfering?" he raised his eyebrow.

"well just say I was holding you penis and as you went, I kinda squeezed you head and rubbed my finger on your slit and stimulated you." she said softly.

"ok." He smiled and blushed slightly as he was getting aroused and the idea.

"I mean just the action of defilement of desperation is a turn on I guess." She was happy he wasn’t disgusted. Then she changed and held up her hands and shook her head. "no, no, I don’t mean.. well look." She looked down. He then thought back to pissing in front of her and wondered if that turned her on. He blushed.

"Look, its ok. I know you didn’t mean it. It’s not a sexual thing."

"Yeah, I don’t think it would be wise. I mean I don’t know about you, but I don’t like people knowing me, I don’t even have a facemash account. People don’t need to keep tabs on me and I would rather no one know I was her, especially with you." she didn’t sound cold or distant.

"Oh, so now you hate me you don’t want to be near me?" he was confused.

"No, just cold logic. If someone knew who I was and who you were, they would come bug me to get to you. no thanks, even if I was yours, I would not want to go to a movie premier and been seen." She sat up slightly. "I don’t hate you. I just don’t want you to be hurt. I don’t want them to know. They don’t need to know. I like my simple quiet life. As I’m sure you like occasions where you can just go out and not be harassed by overzealous fans."

"true. I was kind of in that zone when I'm running." He chuckled. "I like how you just treated me like anyone else."

He brushed the hair from her face. She stopped him. "No. Don’t get close to me. cause I can never get close to you." she moved from his embrace.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You are wonderfully unattainable." She stated.

"ok. That’s a nice sentiment." he tried to get her to look at him.

"Well, I don’t know who you like." She kept looking away.

"Ah, if I am straight or gay? Well I prefer women to be frank. Despite all the rumours of me and Chris Hemsworth!" he laughed. "He’s my best friend."

"Your brother." She looked up. "you have only sisters right? So he’s kinda the brother you didn’t have."

"Yeah." He smiled that she was now looking at him. "So, are you going to tell me? how are we going to keep who we are a secret?"

"No, there is no we. Just you. I can leave and get in my car and only you need to pretend you don’t know me." She rummaged through her bag and pulled out her phone.

"Give me your number." he pulled out his phone. She typed in her number to his phone and hers rang. She then quickly answered it, but he had already heard her ring tone. It was him reading Shakespeare. She blushed. "sorry about that."

"Don’t worry." He held the phone to his head. "Can you hear me?"

"Yeah, a bit scratchy, but that could just because you are calling me so close." She hung up and popped the phone back in her bag. "well, look. The idea I have is I will go so I’m not near you when I leave."

He cupped her cheek and then kissed her lips softly. She withdrew.

"Please don’t." She was upset.

"hey, what’s wrong?"

"Look, I just don’t want to get involved with someone I can never have. I told you, you are unattainable." She glared at him. "I would rather have admired you from afar rather than have got to meet you and well to quote Arthur Conan Doyle.. ‘there was nothing worse than seeing your goal and know it was out of reach."

"What is out of reach?" he scoffed. "You think I am out of reach?"

"of course. You are a desired gentleman, I don’t even appear on your radar, and I wouldn’t. I’m not your type." She became defensive. "I mean you aren’t even it to the same things like sexually, let alone socially."

"Huh! You think so little of me?" he grew angry. "You think I am only into a certain type of woman? Someone who is arm candy and vacuous? You think I would only date a woman who would be some stuck up and wouldn’t know how to even change a light bulb without a man’s help?" he folded his arms. "and as for sexually.. well I do know what watersports is and like it." He taunted.

She was shocked. "Look I mean no offence, but you just portray that image. A nice guy who only likes nice polite girls, who wouldn’t even dream of being anything but a starfish in bed."

"I guess I do, but you shouldn’t judge." He softened his tone. "the truth is, I have been single for a while. I date, but it doesn’t end up in sex, majority of the time. I would like a companion but, I don’t want someone who would exploit me. someone who only wants me for my image or status." He sniffed. This was hard for him. "the truth is, well I haven't had sex for a while." He looked up and she saw he was a bit sad. "It’s ok really, not as bad as it seems. I know what I like and I am quite content by myself."

"Kind of like how you would rather be content and alone than heart broken and lonely?" she added.

"yeah." He sounded astonished.

She started to let him in. "I have been alone for a long time. I have had to do everything for myself, and because of that I am stubborn when it comes to getting help. I can do it, without a man to help or do it for me. I just figure, I’m the only on who will take care of me and I should just get used to it." She wiped her tears and saw he was surprisingly understanding.

"Well I don’t know how you think, but it has been months since I last had sex, and I didn’t even stay the night." He kind of felt guilty.

"well, I know the last time was February.."

"Nearly six months?" he cut her off. "yeah, but it’s not all bad I guess."

"2009." She finished with a cough.

"Oh." He realised he hadn’t let her finish.

"But you are right, it isn’t all bad. I finally learnt what an orgasm was." She admitted.

"You never had one before?" he seemed shocked. "women say they have one all the time, is that a lie?"

"Maybe. It wasn’t till I felt the electricity build up and the pulsing realise that I truly knew no man had ever done that to me." She shrugged.

"really. So how did you work it out? I mean surely you have touched yourself before." He shifted himself on the bed as he felt his erection starting to grow.

"yes, but I foolishly never bought a vibrator till a few months ago and ‘boom!’ I had one." She turned as she heard voices.

"hey. That’s kewl, don’t be ashamed." He looked around to see what had caught her attention.

"Tom, I really like you and there would be nothing more than my heart’s desire to dedicate myself to you and help you get better. But who you are... we cannot have a relationship."

"Why not?"

"Really? You really don’t see it? I’m hardly your type and I doubt you would ever marry someone like me." she dismissed the idea. She was still trying to push him away. She knew if he dumped her it would be devastating.

Tom lay in the bed and thought about it. He could, nay wasn’t aware of any other option. "Yes, but I think I need to say something." He cleared his throat and began to resite Henry V. "Like you? an angel is like you and you are like an angel." he then smiled. "now it’s your line.." he hinted.

"Que dit-il? Que je suis samblable a les anges?" she said in her terrible French accent.

"I said it so and I must not blush to affirm it." He recited effortlessly.

"I think you know these lines too well!" she laughed and the continued her lines, reading badly from her book.

They read together for the next few minutes till that line. He read.. "Nice customs court’sy to great kings." He then placed his hand on her cheek and drew her in and kissed her. she resisted but then reciprocated.

Their kiss lingered. Just a gentle parting of their lips. No tongue. She opened her eyes when they finally stopped. She wiped her mouth in embarrassment.

"you know." He placed his hand on her hip and tugged lightly at her skirt. "I still haven’t seen what you look like." He slid his hand down her thigh, then gently lifted up her skirt. She stopped him.

"Not here, we shouldn’t."

"You want to be equal, sexually? Then come here, slip off your panties and lift up your skirt, I want to see you."

She placed her hand on her skirt to stop him. "um, wait." She back away and locked the door. She carefully slipped off her underwear without lifting her skirt. He smiled as he watch them wiggle down her legs to the floor.

"Good, now come her and let me look at you, don’t be a shamed." He could sense her apprehension. She move close to the bed side. "ok, now put your knee up on the bed so you are spread for me." he lifted her skirt with one hand and looked at her.

She was trimmed, not some hairless, pre-pubescent looking slapper. he slipped his hand under her and cupped her warmth. She pulled back but he grabbed her and pulled her onto the bed. He groaned as he rolled onto his side and lifted his leg between hers.

He slipped up his finger tip into her and she gasped. "No Thomas! You are looking not touching."

He smiled and kissed her deeply and he rubbed his hand back and forth over her. she was now very wet. "Besides, seems like your body is not protesting." He quipped. He pulled her under him and he slipped out his penis and stroked himself with his free hand. "Fuck, you’re tight." He fingered her.

He got hard very quickly and started to rub his head in place of his hand. She snapped out of it.

"No! No sex. I can’t!" she tried to push him off.

"But I thought you wanted to be with me?"

"The idea of you. I don’t want to be some notch on your belt. Seriously, when you get better and go back to work and I go back to work.. did you think we would be an exclusive couple much less even see you again?"

"I’m not going to just throw you aside when I get what I want. Do you think so little of me?" he was confused.

"No, I know you are nice, but we are not together, you are not my boyfriend." She managed to move him off and lay on her side next to him. "what do you think that does to someone like me? I don’t date, I don’t know how to meet people, now you ruin it all but giving me an expectation that you are mine. But it’s not even close to being true."

"Well that was a rant! I think you need to control your feelings, you are not the only one that is lonely. You think I have forgotten that I have my own issues that prevent me from having a long term relationship?" He bared his lower teeth in a mix of disgust and anger. "I want someone who likes all of me, the good and the bad." That sounded like an ultimatum.

"Exactly, I don’t know you. you don’t know me. you know nothing about me. I’m boring and exceedingly complex. The next man I’m with I want him to be the man I marry and have lots of babies with."

"Who said I couldn’t be him?" he changed his tack. "We are dating."

"Dated? Are we dating?"

"oh, well, I guess." He then also lightened the mood. "after all, I was trying to have sex you!"

"well not without protection you are not." She smiled and then hugged him.

He kissed her forehead and moved close to her. she could feel his erection against her thigh. She gasped as she felt him twitch.

He laughed and kissed her lips. He moved his body close that she hand to hold him or she would fall out of the bed.

"Tom, stop." She giggled.

"Why?’ he nuzzled her neck and ran his hands over her.

"Well..." she moved to his ear and whispered. "I need to go get some condoms." He gasped in excitement. "Or we can just lay here and not have sex.

"No, nope." He shoved her so she could get out of bed. "hurry up and get your ass back here." He smiled seductively. She smiled and left the room and flicked up the back of her skirt so he could be reminded she wasn’t wearing any knickers.

___________--

He chuckled and then stroked himself in anticipation. He watched the door intently and she came back a few minutes later after raiding the condom machine in the toilet. He pulled open the sheet and she walked towards him.

"Tom, I don’t think we should do this. I think we should just be friends." She could see he was touching himself. "Friends that don’t fuck each other."

"I don’t think that is your choice." He demanded. She moved closer but was not getting into bed.

"We that would make you a rapist if you carry out your desires without them being mine also." She grabbed the sheet and pulled it over him.

"I think your body betrays you as you were getting pretty hot down there." He tugged her skirt.

"Yes I know, like a slip and slide, but that is not a sign of open house. How many times have you gotten hard with no intention of acting on it?" She sat down and turned her back slightly.

"But you said you wanted me, so that makes it different. I want to be with you and not just a one off thing. I want to be with you for more than just sex." He took her hand. "I don’t know anyone like you. and I don’t think I can just let you go."

"ok. But where do we stand? Look you know I can be faithful with distance, I mean it’s kind of obvious that I’m not sleeping around."

"Yeah, I got that. You seriously are tight, I will go easy, it’s not like I will force myself in." he reassured her.

"Not really the point. You can’t park a car in a motorbike spot. Besides you would be smashing my cervix before you were even hilt deep." She remarked. "I want you, but I don’t want anyone to know I am with you. I don’t want you to post anything about me, so selfish, no up skirt shots, not even mention my name in your posts."

"it’s normally me that says stuff like that." He chuckled.

"I’m serious. If your phone is in the cloud, don’t even think of using it to take my picture. I’m happy with my low fingerprint on the net." She held his hand and looked down at it rather that make eye contact. "I like my quiet simple life. That I can go to the shops and I won’t be harassed or identified."

"I like that too. I get that in a lot of places here. It’s refreshing."

"Sorry Thomas, but I don’t think we can be a couple. I don’t know if you want what I want, and I don’t want to stifle you." he grabbed her and pulled her down over his lap and kissed her deeply.

"So make me yours." He broke of the kiss and smiled at her. "marry me."

She was in shock. "I have to tell you that it’s not a joke. Marriage is for life. I don’t see it as others do like a more formal form of dating. You only get one shot at it." She was serious and once again trying to dissuade him. "besides, if you know me you would know that if someone was to ask me that, know that I would expect we would be married not long after proposal. The reason is this." She took a deep breath. "if you want a long engagement with someone, so you can figure out if you like them or want to break off the married... well you should never have asked."

"Oh?" Tom raised his eyebrow.

"I mean, if you love someone so much, that you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with them, then you don’t need to know if it will work by having a long engagement, because you are committed to making it work. You want them and no other. If you want to figure out if you like this person enough to marry them? Then you should date and not ask them till you know in your heart ‘hey we could elope tomorrow’ and that would be great."

"right." He paused and took it in. "you have a point. I don’t like the way married is just taken as a more exclusive form of dating."

"Yes, my parents have been together 40 years."

"So, you want lots of children?"

"yes."

"So do I." He smiled. "so are you going to marry me?" he gave her a cheeky grin.

"No." He scowled. "oh, don’t give me that look. You know I’m kinda traditional. So if you were to do it, you can’t ask me. you have to ask my father permission in person."

"ok. So what sort of wedding do you want to have?... if he lets me marry you." Tom kept trying to touch her and be close to her.

"small, just our siblings and parents. No nieces or nephews or spouses of siblings. But you can have Chris as your best man."

"A small wedding? I thought all girls want extravagance. There are so many people I would invite." He smiled and thought about his friends."

She then was sad. He saw her exhale uneasy and a tear roll down her face. He didn’t know what he had said or done. She realised he was concerned. "sorry tom." She wiped her face. "it’s nothing."

"no. It’s something, tells me." he stroked her arm.

"you know how one side of the church is for the groom and one for the bride?"

"Yeah..." he thought and before he could articulate his realisation she spoke.

"well there is no one I could put on my side except my siblings or parents. I don’t have any friends who I know that who would come. I don’t socialise. I have lots of work mates, not friends." She turned her back to him. he knew this before she spoke, but he didn’t realise how much it weighed on her.

"I’m sorry." He touched her back. He wanted to change the subject to get her happy again. "ok. A small wedding."

"Look, if you want to marry me in some crazy extravagant wedding at Westminster Abby with all your celebrity friends, you can, but I would only do it to make you happy. Don’t get me wrong I will indeed be a happy blushing bride. I’m a sucker for attention. It’s just that there would be regret of being now in the public eye."

"Ah. So we would get married in the UK?" he prompted her and she turned back to him and he got her to lie her back down on his chest and he put his arms around her. He didn't know why he found it so easy to talk to her about such things. he wondered why she kept trying to talk him out of being close to her. He thought he should investigate that. but for now his priority was more primal. he wanted to know how sexually compatible they were.

"well it would be only fair that we had a marriage that would be recognised in each of our home town’s slash country. Well, I think that’s something we should discuss another day." she placed her hand on his leg and smiled. She dreamed that they would marry but this conversation seemed just her fantasy. he could tell there was something stopping him. After all he is celebrity, and not known for diving in. "But I think there is something we should deal with first."

"So, are you going to spank me?" He said coyly. Happy that the conversation was directed back at sex.

"Well you have been a bad boy." She gently massaged his thigh. He directed her hand to the bulge in his pants.

He laid back and raised up his hips, pushed down his pants, his tight briefs were doing little to hide his feelings. He then grabbed her and pulled her down on top and kissed her deeply. He felt his heart race and pushed her hips down on him. He moaned and shook as he felt like he was going to explode.

She pulled out the condom and tore it open. He smiled widely and watched as she pushed up off him then moved herself down his body. She slipped down his underpants and his cock sprung free and was dripping in pre-cum. She put the condom in her mouth and she placed it on him. He gasped as she slid it down with her hand.

She was surprised about how big he really was. His fat uncut cock was almost to big to grip with her hand. She swiftly moved back up his body and kissed him. He pulled at her shirt and broke the kiss only long enough to pull it off. He could feel her heat straddling him as she grinded down on him.

He felt her hand slip down as she grabbed him and lined him up. She slipped the end in and he groaned loudly.

"Fuck!" he through his head back as he felt her surround him. She slowly moved back an forth, slowly going deeper. He grabbed her to stop her motion. "Wait! Wait!" he panted.

"What?" she now worried he wasn’t ready for their relationship taking this path.

"Not so fast." She felt a pang of sadness as she braced for rejection, but then was shock. "If you keep going I will cum!" he smiled and looked up at her excited. "I wasn’t expect how much I was on edge."

She blushed. "Oh!" she then leaned down and her breasts were close to his face and he grabbed them and kissed her nipple, hungrily. She moaned as he sucked hard. "Ow!" he then bit her a bit. "No biting! Or will have to spank you."

He let her go and smiled. "Well you threatened, but I'm yet to see you for fill your promise."

 


End file.
